Hi 13Unlucky. I think you spoke truth in your last paragraph, that living is sober is too difficult. On the other hand, living drunk is so much harder than that! This is a good awareness, that your first thought is definitely about continuing to drink and therefore is all about your AV.
So, about a plan about continuing to use alcohol - what does yours look like? Is acceptance of life's challenges, drunk or sober, going to be a part of that plan?
Best to you, 13, I know you can do this.