But I'm at the point where I want to help him, I want to support him. Isn't that what love is all about? When you have relationship issues you build and work on them. Not just throw in the towel because times are tough.
When we love someone -- whether it's a SO, a friend, a sibling, a parent, a child -- our first inclination is, yes, we want to help them. And you have the best of intentions.
But if loving someone was enough when faced with someone's addiction, then support groups like this one and Al Anon/Nar Anon wouldn't exist.
Some of the most heartbreaking, and illuminating, stories you'll read about here are parents dealing with addicted children. And some of the things these parents have had to do in order to protect themselves are, on the face of it, unthinkable.
What you're up against is a powerful, malevolent monster. And there are times that love, simply, isn't enough.
My hope for you is you stick around and learn as much as you can so that regardless of what happens with you and your ABF, you'll be OK.