chicory---of course he will be pissed and angry, at first. Expect it. He is free to react in any way he chooses. By the same token, you have the same right to choose your reaction. This is precisely why a show of united front is helpful--you have less reason to be afraid of his anger.
By the way, he knows that you are afraid of his anger--that is why he uses it--because it has worked soo well, for him. He knows where your buttons are better than you do..LOL! This is why they always gather everybody they can for interventions. There is power in numbers--especially if they are all on the same page.
You have got to stop worrying so much about if he "likes" you in the m oment. All kids get pissed a lot by their parents. But, down deep they still love you the same----and that is what counts.
It is good to know that he will resent you a lot less when he doesn't feel so dependent on you. All kids resent being dependent on their parents after they hit about a certain age---like, age 13yrs.!!!!!!!!!!! LOL.
You would benefit from the support and validation at alanon, I believe. I do think that an individual counselor would be worth the weight in gold for you--in addition to alanon. So many others, here on this forum have said that this was so true for them.
by the way--I believe that a strong faith of some kind is essential. I remember my dear grandmother telling me about a gazillion that "god helps those who help themselves". She turned out to be right, as far as I can see. Who do you think is helping me pound this keyboard?
dandylion