The first. I'm actually feeling slightly better this afternoon and have decided to see my physician tomorrow first before doing anything regarding treatment.
But I still feel like I should try to be honest and have faith. Keeping my drinking a secret from the person I live with and love has always been something that, well, keeps me drinking. It's just hard. He gets so angry and disappointed. Which is his right, I suppose, given he's spent three years of his life begging me to stop drinking.