I think you're also dealing with the power of imagination. Imagination isn't facts, as you well know.
So imagine both of these scenarios when it overcomes you, this worry....
1) Maybe he's dead. OMG....! No...!
2) He's laying in bed with another alcoholic, a woman, and they're having wild sex and that is why he isn't answering the phone.
Now the worry about him being dead turns to wishing he were dead in a way...
And then there's the truth...which is probably neither of these extremes.
So. Imagination gone wild. Ok, done, check it off your list.
Wait. Those two imaginative scenarios both made me feel badly about MYSELF...
ok, 3rd scenario to imagine...
He's being a good boy doing AA homework, really into it, and trying to think up ways to please his wife when he gets home...
We can dream, right?
Imagination as a source of anxiety...bizarre, isn't it...anxiety over something that doesn't exist, or hasn't happened, anxiety over an UNTRUTH, for lack of a better word.
I suffer from imagination too. So to rein in my imagination, I continue it, take it further, make it even crazier, until I laugh at myself.
Like: 4th scenario:
He's not answering the phone because he's busy playing the accordion with a pack of monkeys at a karaoke bar that only serves non-alcoholic fruity drinks, and they are cheering him on to dance a jig...
Back to what we do know, and what we can control, and what we are sure is our reality.