I'm serious folks, if a member comes to this forum wanting alternative approaches for recovery when they have SPECIFICALLY stated they do not wish to further pursue AA, back off!
There are many methods to recovery, AA is not the only way. It may be your way, my way, but if that's not what they need or want the promotion of unwanted suggestions will simply leave a further bad taste in their mouths. Everyone deserves the right to choose what works for them!
Hi Chy,
I don't know what another alcoholic needs to hear or not hear to achieve sobriety, thats not my job. I can't keep anyone sober, and I can't make anyone drink. I can't make anyone attend AA or attend a Secular program, thats not my job either. I am simply not that powerful. I share my experience, strength and hope, not to control anyone but to share what my own experience has been in getting sober. When I was in active alcoholism, the only thing that I was able to choose that worked for me..... was another drink.
Control is a funny thing, it seems to have this side effect, that I can't try to control, without being controlled. When I was in the midst of untreated alcoholism, I didn't know at all what would help me or wouldn't help me. I "thought" I did. lol And when I was blaming people, places and things for my drinking, it didn't matter who it was that tried to get me to see that, I wasn't going to see that because I was in denial. I was in denial about my alcoholism, I was in denial about my ability to control my drinking and in denial about being able to control everyone around me, what they said, what they thought, what they did and what they didn't do. Today, controlling others isn't an option because control is an illusion, a delusion that tells me that if I say just the right thing, if I do just the right thing, if I can just get things the way that I want them, if I can just get people to do what I want them to... then all will be well.
The delusion of "control" was still there, even after I put the drink down, because I was convinced that if I just tried hard enough to get people, places and things to stay put, If I just tried hard enough to arrange outcomes to my own satisfaction, if I could just get people to agree with me, then I could manage my own life, and not until then. It didn't work when I was drinking, it didn't work when I thought that I knew what I needed, and it doesn't work today sober. Controlling others is something that I had to get honest about, that it was my problem, and that it didn't matter how hard I tried to control those around me, or to get outcomes the way that I wanted them....because controlling, in reality, is a delusion that simply doesn't exist except in the mind of the one who is deluded.
Isn't telling "certain" alcoholics to be silent about their experiences with alcoholism, in reality, just buying into the delusion that if we can just get people, places and things to do it our way, if only the outside was just right, if we can just get all the arrangements the way want them, if we can just control what others do or do not do, if we can just control what others say or do not say....... then we can get sober? Thats one of the many lies that helped this alkie to stay in the delusion that I could drink or not drink....IF
We are alcoholics, and when in the midst of untreated alcoholism, whether we are drinking or not, trying to control people, places and things is a delusion that simply doesn't work here at SR or in a Secular program or in AA....... because control is a delusion that doesn't exist in "reality". And no matter what program I attend or share about, I must stay in "reality" because to do anything else means that I am living in the delusion of untreated alcoholism, whether actively drinking or not.
Today, I have no idea what an alcoholic living in the delusion of untreated alcoholism needs to hear or not hear, because I am simply not that powerful. It wasn't any particular program that left a bad taste in my mouth, it was my untreated alcoholism that left a bad taste in this alkies mouth.
Chy if you tell us AA's that we shouldn't share our experience, strength and hope with another alcoholic who is living in the delusion of untreated alcoholism, then of course I will back off.