Hey Myth, you know I was just about to post and wasn't expecing any replies or updates from others so it was a lovely surprise to see your message/progress. I think it's fantastic you're getting back into the weight training, as you say at 45 it's going to be tricky but hey thats the perfect time to put your body in order. I mean it's way more difficult at 60 than 45 so you can hopefully set yourself up with a good base for your older years. You keep at it, you won't be winning the olympics but you can make your body good and healthy, improve bone strength etc. Believe me when you have a rubbish body like mine you really appreiciate such things.
I have been checking in daily to read the progress of others even if I don't post anything.
I'm happy to say I think I'm over the worst of things. I did have to have a temporary increase in pain meds, I didn't want it but truthfully I was caught screaming into a pillow and so family pressure meant I ended up on more. Truthfully I'm glad they found me like that as the larger dose gave me some peace instead of stupidly suffering. I just didn't want more as it felt like some kind of failure which I know is just stupid but I think you guys know where I was coming from in trying to resist any increase.
My doctor is very good and I've been altering my dose depending upon the pain levels I feel. Each morning I've gotten into a routine, I wake up, move about a little bit and then decide how much I need. After a night sleeping the pain is always worse just because my muscles tense up overnight so it's essential I get a bit of movement and stretching in first before I judge the pain levels.
It's 2am here now and actually I've had a nice night. I sat outside for maybe 2 hours in the peaceful darkness. I don't live in the country but I dont' live ina busy city either so at night it is very quite, a good time to think and reflect when you can't sleep. It's nice being ina quite area, no sirens, no shouting or banging or other stuff you get in cities. I'm off to bed now before the pain meds wear off.
Still I'm really learning to appreiciate those quite moments, time to think and just try and let the mind wander. Feeling almost zen lol.
Anyway thank you everyone for continuing to follow me and my journey thourgh both sobriety and my other illness. I can't thank you guys enough really. That's one of the thoughts I had sitting out there tonight in the cool night air. The reality is without this place I really would not be sober, I mean I like to think I would be but in reality the support you guys have offered, the suggestions, the guides and just the stories I read about other peoples recovery have provided me with a great deal of strength.
Even if I don't post, remember I'm lurking around :P