I feel like I am in exactly the say place as you. I went out last night and blacked out and can't remember how I got home. I know I need help but am scared to go to a meeting. We both need to get up the courage to go. It will be hard but we have to remember that the people at AA are not there to judge. They are there to help and are in the same boat as us. You can do this. We can do this.
