P.S. Re: Reminding you to keep fighting.
Whenever I get doubtful and tired, I read my old posts here from whatever perspective I'm in now. My ex put us in danger countless times, stole money from me and my son, lied to me and everyone we know, lied to others, embarrassed me, lost jobs, threw me under the bus, insulted me to my face over and over again. I left because he put my infant daughter in direct danger more than once. That was the CRUX for my argument in court.
Why can't STBXAH be alone with my daughter? Ask me why I left.
I just went back and read your first post (
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...g-choices.html). I was looking for the post where he abused you in front of your children in a public parking lot, scaring the living **** out of you for the hundredth time(
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...artbroken.html). (I'm not usually a vigilante kind of person, so let's just say I wouldn't cry if this guy turned up in a cornfield.) But everything you need to know about him is there, over three years ago, with the promises, the narcissism, the hulking threats, the abuse cycle, the fear in you, and the knowledge that he can't be trusted with your kids. He's proven this over and over, and finally, he's starting to see public consequences for the crap he's been pulling on you in private for years. He's ******* SCARY.
For the court, basically whoever has the most paperwork wins, in almost every situation. I'm willing to be just about everything you need is here on SR. Has your lawyer asked you to build a timeline of events? Give whomever is working on this case the AMMO to start asking questions. Your ex can say whatever he wants -- BUT SO CAN YOU. Get out whatever documents you have and put them in a timeline. Then go back through your SR posts and put your disputes and arguments and his shenanigans in the timeline. Whether you have this lawyer or another one, whenever you meet with someone who has decision-making power, that timeline goes with you. I you got up on a stand with that timeline in hand, it would AUTOMATICALLY be admitted into court documents. There are going to be enough red flags and incidents and details in that document that covers years of behavior, that it will be clear you aren't just making **** up and people will start asking questions.