I am an alcoholic, and no one could convince me of that except ME. You cannot change your husband. He must want to change. Until that happens, you will be stuck in the hell that you are in now. The only person you can change is yourself. Posting here will help, and going to an Al-Anon meeting may also be helpful.
We Alcoholics say the Serenity Prayer:
God give me serenity for the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
BIG hugs to you, and know you are not alone in your strife. Be good to yourself.