Thanks, Florence, that is a very helpful perspective. It's easy to get too focused on the labels rather than the behaviors. I guess I just keep searching for a "benchmark" that I can measure all this against so it can tell me what to do. I know that is futile as it is all shades of grey and only I can make the decision. It does help getting outside views on the quantities as my yardstick is now way off after years of this. Meanwhile, I'm essentially a tee-totaler, barely finishing 1 glass of wine! Go figure - opposites attract I guess. Thank you:-)