Scary future
I'm starting to obsess with being in pain. 20 years ago when this started, I had legitamite pain. Then of course I would find pain, then fabricate pain, then well who needed pain? I could run to the hood and pick them up anyway.... I stated so doped up I actually had a huge kidney stone and never felt it. Of course I saw the blood in my urine though and spent the night in ER getting morphine shots. Anyway like today we went on the jet skis and it was a beautiful life expierence to be living again but in the back of my mind "be careful don't get hurt you don't have pills and you can't get any you don't want to be in pain what will you do???" I was even super worried about sunburn. I used a whole bottle if sunscreen. On just me...this got me thinking, what will i do when the inevitable comes and I have severe REAL legitamite pain? The next kidney stone that comes, I'm going to feel that sucker...I'm scared. I don't want to be in agony and not have relief. Is this my AV??? Ugh