Healthy relationships
I have been "seeing" someone for a period of time now... We were friends and it transitioned into dating... He is aware of all my history and current situation and not scared off (shockingly- lol)... We see one another once a week or so because my kids are my priority and his are too and the fact that he gets that and respects it is a huge part of my liking him...
Anyway, my point in writing is to say that I find myself sometimes feeling anxious about the fact that this relationship is so normal. I don't know that I ever had one before.
My marriage from the start was full of drama, crises, rescuing xAH from problems of his own making and then feeling "loved" because I solved the problem for him.
This new relationship is without drama. S has a good job, primary custody of his kids, coaches his kids in sports, is kind and respectful to me, attractive, not a big drinker etc... AND I find myself wondering what is wrong with him because of the fact there is no drama.
I am healthy enough to realize this thinking is INSANE on my part and I talk to my therapist about this frequently...
My marriage was a lot of highs and lows... when things were good, when xAH was complimentary, he was over the top.... but the lows (and there were more of those) were awful.
With S, it's even keeled and as hard as this is to admit, I find my emotional self wishing he was more dramatic even though my rational self knows that is nuts.
I really enjoy his company, am super attracted to him, and have known him long enough as a friend, prior to getting involved romantically, to know he's a really good man.
So why isn't that enough? Why does my sick codie self think something must be wrong with a man who is decent and kind and good and without drama...
We are having dinner tonight and I am all sorts of anxious about my own emotions around all of this that I have written so I sort of hope someone gives me a virtual slap on here and tells me to snap out of it because Im annoying myself with how ridiculous I am being, yet can't shake this feeling...