When I got here to SR, I felt so beat up by all the different words, phrases and terminology, that have been mentioned in this thread, that I can't even describe how disgusted and down trodden I felt about myself. No matter how many years I had not drank (13 years), I always felt I was being chased by the boogey man called alcohol.
After 13 years of "sobriety" (ahem) I drank. I drank for 5 more years until I joined here one night in the early part of January 2013. In that very first thread of mine, I found the truth that had eluded me for years. YEARS! Freshstart, soberlicious, gerandtwine, and others helped me save my own ass that night.
So, this thread is hard for me to read. It ticks me off to have to hear all this junk again but it's good for me because I realize all this stuff no longer has the stronghold it had on me when I first got here.
I don't drink and that will never change. Ever. With that monkey off my back I am now free to explore ME and gain insight into myself by way of a wonderful therapist, those I've befriended here and learning mindfulness, etc.