Originally Posted by
biminiblue 
I see these threads daily. I am always surprised that someone doesn't know their BF is drinking at all.
Can't you smell it?
I don't mean to be disrespectful, but I can smell alcohol five feet away.
I didn't know my A was drinking for years either, and NO, I could NOT smell it. In fact, he secretly smoked cigarettes, too, and I did not smell THAT either. He was
incredibly careful, and he was never fall-down, pee-the-bed drunk. He just seemed a tad "off" at times, a bit distant, and there was always some reasonable-sounding excuse if by chance I did ask what was up.
I also felt incredibly stupid when I found out, until the wonderful folks here at SR pointed out to me that there is
no reason I should expect the man I married to be lying to me, to be carrying on a secret life of sorts behind my back.
The fault is not that of the person who is lied to, but
that of the person who is doing the lying. It's important to remember that!
Welcome, Perfume, and please, don't feel that it is or was in any way your place to monitor him or that you should have somehow known that he was drinking. Addicts are incredibly clever at hiding their addiction if they so choose.