You all have been amazingly patient with me. Thank you for the support. I really really appreciate it. I know that today when I spoke to him, he told me he wasted his whole
check on it. Spend 3 days out. That's almost 500$ if I'm not mistaken. Ridiculously dangerous. He didn't know how to react when he saw me, he kept looking away, told me that I might not believe him but he does love me, and that he doesn't understand how I can be so loving to him.
I sat down next to him, and told him that he needs to get better for himself. I wasn't worried about us but his life. He asked if I believed in god because he didn't anymore. I then explained to him that no matter what higher power, energy or whatever you decide to believe in now has kept you alive until this point. You have purpose and you will see it when you begin to care for yourself.
As I looked at him I saw a handsome young 27 year old man waste away. So sad to watch the person you love kill themselves. What I didn't realize is that the 25 year old speaking about purpose to an addict was loosing her own looking after him.
Which leads me here, day 1 of the hardest steps I have to take.... Detox.