My therapist recommended that I read "Stop Walking on Eggshells" which is a book about dealing with loved ones who have/may have borderline personality disorder. I'm getting a lot out of it so far and it's good to have the validation that I don't deserve to be treated like a worthless person.
My mom is so off-the-hook centered on herself. My dad was dying in a nursing home and she 1) Basically made every conversation with doctors/nurses about *her* and how much she did for Dad, instead of letting the docs focusing on him and his needs, 2) Fought away/blew off repeated attempts by others to bring in hospice care for him (because, you know, then she'd have to admit that she can't do *every single thing in the world for him and be absolutely everything he could ever need* 3) Left him _alone_ in the nursing home after he had a bad fall and was in very bad pain in his hip, so she could go make a downpayment on services at the funeral home for him - turns out his hip was fractured, had to be transported to the hospital in agony and died the next evening, and 4) The same night he passed away, not an hour after we got home she made a point of saying that Dad had been "a tyrant" in years past and it's important to remember the bad things, too. Yeah, kick a man when he can't even defend himself anymore - in front of his grieving kids.
WTH, lady. Sober, she's almost unbearable. Drunk, she's abhorrent.