Liz, I read your posts all the time, I don't always respond, perhaps it's because it triggers me. What I mean by that, is that I was always trying to change myself, always wanting to take the blame for things, because I knew, that was the only thing or person that I could fix, I could fix "me". So not only did I take all of the blame that my ex wanted to give me, I also continued to give myself more blame.
After all, I can fix that, can't I??????
I didn't want a divorce, never wanted a divorce, but you know what I found out? I kept fixing me, and fixing me, till I didn't know who "me" was.
So for me, I can only thank the night that I went out, and was able to see for myself that whatever BS I was feeding myself, or he was trying to feed me, was just BS.
Please Liz, stop trying to fix you, so that you will be OK for him.
Take that moment or moments as an awakening to the fact that you really are a person.
Not once did I think you were having an emotional affair. I only thought that this is Liz. Liz who wants to know what life is on the outside.
Well, now you know that other people actually like you and find you are interesting. Not the worst thing in the world, is it?