Originally Posted by amy55

I had to comment to you. I didn't want to because what I will say is not something that I feel should be in the f & f section. I know I told you that I am an RA.

When I was married, there was this one time, I just couldn't stay in the house anymore, I had to get out of there. He was either giving me the silent treatment or he was raging. I just couldn't take it anymore.

I went to the corner bar.

I didn't really go there to drink, even though I did, I just wanted to get away from the craziness of everything.

I was never really at this bar, maybe one other time we met our neighbors there. I guess in a way I was hoping I would meet up with our neighbors. No such luck though.

So I as a woman, alone, walk into a bar.

I was quickly surrounded by about 8 men wanting to buy me a drink. I heard my AH's voice in my head. It was saying that the only reason a woman would go to a bar is to pick up men and to get laid. That men don't want to talk to a woman, they all just want sex.

So I saw myself now, as a piece of meat in the ocean surrounded by sharks.

Really, didn't he just prove his point????????????? So I just felt dejected, rejected, like no one would ever see me as a human.

Got me pissed !!!!

So I just swirled my seat around and spoke to all of them. I said, look I am married, I did not come out here tonight looking for sex, or looking for anything. I just didn't want to be home tonight. I thought I could just talk to someone, and have a normal conversation with someone, without feeling like a piece of meat, if you can't do that, then leave me alone !!!!!!!

After I said that, everyone disappeared, then I went to order a beer for myself.

But it was already in front of me.

I thought I scared everyone off. I looked to my left and there was a man there. He told me that he listened to me and that he heard me. He told me that he would not touch me or act in anyway inappropriate. That he was sick of all the BS and he would also appreciate just a normal conversation with no ulterior motive.

We had a great night, we talked about everything. His job, my job, his dreams, my dreams, we played pool, I wasn't too good, he gave me tips. I gave him a little friendship hug when I left. That was it.

Was it an emotional affair. To me, no it wasn't. It was me learning that there are some nice people out there. It was me learning that I needed a lot more then what I was getting out of my relationship.

And sometimes I think, why if you are a female, that a female would need to give you the normal conversations, because if it's a male doing this, then it is considered an emotional affair?

To me, I think it is an awakening of your own feelings of what you want to have with your partner.