Being tired was always a trigger for me with anxiety. I had to force myself to be asleep by 10 pm nightly and setting a daily schedule. If I didn't I just couldn't handle the wheels of my mind. I tried some valium for the panic attacks but didn't like it and didn't continue. I found more strength in my faith, prayer and meditation. I still don't like unplanned events and expectations being foisted upon me. I am more comfortable with schedules even if they are not normal.
My relationship suffered until I learned to work on myself. We have a saying here that you have to take care of yourself before you can care about anyone else. Kind of like a plane that takes a nosedive and the oxygen masks drop out. If you don't put yours on first you can't about or help anyone else. I think if you work on yourself your relationships will align naturally or with a bit of help.
Have you read the stickies above? This one lays out the typical personality of the ACOA, once you learn these you can start work on them, and things fall in place better.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-children.html