Well, I am very vulnerable to this sort of thing and have spun a few stories in my head. Thus far my logic keeps me with the devil I know.
Maybe allowing yourself this break from reality means you need to reassess your "marriage"? Maybe you are done? Better read up on emotional affairs and see if you have crossed into that territory. Hugs Liz. It is awful when you connect with someone and realize you are not being validated by your "life partner."