This has been one of the most helpful threads for me to read. My AH, from whom I am separated, has taken some steps toward recovery. I am wary but I believe he is genuine in his desire to, as he put it, "not live like that anymore." We have had some quiet, tentative conversations and mutually understand that we are on a long road to recovery, both individually and, we hope, eventually in our relationship. It is good to hear that there are others who have done the hard work and found they can be together again...and equally as good to hear that there are others who are happy despite not being together anymore.