xAH suspended from work
Well, he's done it... he has been suspended without pay and his employer is taking the steps to terminate him bc he showed up Tuesday smelling like alcohol.
He was sent home and given his arrest and the publicity of it recently, his employer has had enough.
I do not blame them.
However, I don't have a job for next year and his being unemployed is overwhelming and terrifying because this is the first time in all my professional years I do not have a good, decent paying, benefits provided job to rely on to provide for my kids with.
I wasn't counting on child support since I knew the day would come that he would lose his job over his drinking but I was certainly hoping to not be homeless in 3 months since now xAH's job loss and mine will coincide.
Awesome.
And he still hasn't hit bottom.
I really, truly, can not take a whole lot more.
Ive been in tears when the girls aren't around since Tuesday. I usually am good at problem solving and finding solutions and I am bone tired exhausted, emotionally and physically from all of this... The abuse, the DCYF investigations of him, the endless court dates, the job...
Right now I have been trying, while the kids are resting, to work on resume and cover letters and am just paralyzed with fear and anxiety and for the first time since all of this started, I don't know that I am strong enough to figure out a way to make things be okay for the kids and I.