Hard news, Doc. I would like things to go the way you want but sometimes what you want isn't the best thing in the long run. Obviously we don't know much about the dynamics of your relationship but as you said, some people don't like change. To them the certainty of a bad situation is better than the doubts they feel when confronted with change. It may also be that she had all the power in the relationship (of felt like she did) when you were a drunk. While she may have hated the drinking she might have liked feeling like the one in charge.
It sounds like you're trying the best you can. At best you can only change yourself. Trying to change someone else never works.
Best of luck however it goes.