Originally Posted by
fishin4serenity 
Thanks for the replies. Your right..... I have struggled with the spiritual thing. I had a spiritual experience when I was arrested for DUI. Worked hard at maintaining it and I know that was what lead to a year of sobriety. That spiritaul growth has seemed to stop. I have difficulty saying my prayers, if at all, and meditation just doesn't come. Tring to find my path forward. Feel I need to come clean, but just can't find the courage to face it.......god help me!
Dishonesty and secrets are guaranteed to keep you blocked from your higher power, and in that condition, it is impossible to stay sober. The needed power is not there.
You need to be completely honest with your sponsor, and get back into those steps as if your life depends on it, which it does. It will mean the destruction of your pride and the crushing of your ego to do this, very humiliating to admit that your way has not worked, that you are defeated, but most of us found this was the very thing that lead us to victory over alcohol.