Thanks for the replies. Your right..... I have struggled with the spiritual thing. I had a spiritual experience when I was arrested for DUI. Worked hard at maintaining it and I know that was what lead to a year of sobriety.
You know I have a hard time maintaining it at times myself then I find problems have way of sending me back to it. I think God gives us some troubles as a way to keep us close and reliant on Him.
these issues your having are probably a good thing they may help draw you closer and help you maintain it.