My daughters have their own lives. marriages with challenges, too. one daughter has anxiety, a daughter with anxiety, and her hub is a drinker, who is working on his problem with alcohol and doing well. they surely do not need my son there causing problems. no one can fix him..no one should have to support him. it would break them, I think, as he would steal meds, drink, etc and my grandkids need to be protected at all costs.
Other daughter has son with behavior challenges, and this is super stressful for them, as they adore him and are getting him the help he needs. seems to be a control thing, and textures for eating difficulties. again, my grandbaby needs nothing of this in his life. I would rather my son live under a bridge than to burden his sisters, in turn hurting my grandkids.
HIs dad however, is a ball-less wonder. He took him not long ago, step wife agreed- with conditions: he be in bed by 11pm, every night (he's 42), computer off til 5 am, apply for jobs everyday, and help with whatever ..I know this woman, and I know that she set him up for failure, as she once vowed before to see him dead before she let him in her home to upset them. I understood that, and almost respected her for it.
but instead, they decide to help (dad gets depressed and she puts effort to appease him, as she has come between him and his kids many times). so, they offer to help, to get him a car, if he got a job, and help him set up home. in Savannah, Ga. A beautiful place, and son loved it. He worked each day to apply for jobs, got offers, did all the things and jumped all the hoops, until step mom came in one night to feel the computer, in the den, which he used, and it was warm at 4am. she went ballistic and insisted he go. dad went nutty too, as he has always been a wimp and cannot stand up to her.
son was broken about this, and begged for another chance. did not drink there,, just got on the computer one night, after going to bed at 7 pm, woke and was on for a while. they packed him up and brought him back to me. he was so depressed about it, he loved the town, and wanted nothing more than to live there and work. He felt hopeful as there were lots of opportunities jobwise.
of course, he made a bad decision when he broke her rule, so , it is his fault, but I would swear my life that she would have found some reason to sabotage his being there, even if he had not.
she is a selfish beothch, who admitted this to my daughter.... put clorox in her dads food when he was dying of cancer, and gave her mom extra sedative meds when she was dying of cancer. yikes. she is not sane. went to jail for embezzlement from two jobs. hubby never questioned the extra money??? acted innocent. he is stupid,and not beneath theft his self. She thinks I am a crazy woman and always tried to undermine me to my children. oh, I have resentments, I could write a book about his abuse before we even had children.
I should not think of how much I have hated their dad over the years, for not caring, or helping, and letting them down over and over. daughter always wanted to go on a fishing tournament with her dad, she is an excellent fisherwoman, but step mom would always decide to go with him at last minute, and he never had the b###s to do this for my daughter.
They expect nothing from him now. He stays at home, plays computer games with my son, and does whatever he wants. it was always so.
He is done, he wont help. He will send son the newest computer stuff, though.