Originally Posted by
OpioPhobe 
Doc - this one is a little out of the box, but what would happen if you told her to take the time that she needs and to come to you when she is ready to talk? Do you think she would just put it off indefinitely? If she commits to a time now she could always back out later if she didn't feel like she was ready to talk when the time came. Presenting it this way would make it harder for her to make any arguments regarding 'control'.
OK. Sounds like not a bad suggestion. I'll propose it Monday.
I'm trying to keep this all simple.
1) How do I survive being in my home with either the choice being
a) my wife treats me like a non-person in my own home, ignores me, etc., or
b) treats me with utter, blistering hostility, abuse, and contempt?
In other words, to used the cliché - what are my boundaries.... short of leaving home for extended periods, that is?
When we do our therapy session on Monday, I will try and set some ground rules from the outset. I don't want to sit there and hear her talk about what a terrible person I am yet again, and how she wants to leave me, etc. I will say I will need to leave the therapy room when that starts, happy to come back when its over, would prefer she leave it for her individual therapy, groups, whatever.
It's going to be tough to get through the rest of the weekend. Sober won't be a problem. I'm a wreck.
-DrS