Doc - this one is a little out of the box, but what would happen if you told her to take the time that she needs and to come to you when she is ready to talk? Do you think she would just put it off indefinitely? If she commits to a time now she could always back out later if she didn't feel like she was ready to talk when the time came. Presenting it this way would make it harder for her to make any arguments regarding 'control'.