My A says the same thing when he is drinking; that I don't respect all the things he does, and I do nothing (by the way, he's saying this while I'm doing dishes from cooking dinner, after I've bathed and put the baby in bed, and he's done nothing but sit on his john boat in the driveway....).
Also, if he offers to do something normal, which in his opinion is something nice and special, he expects me to give him unlimited thanks and praise. (like take the trash to the dump, or mow the lawn)
I see your point, that detachment can make you feel as if you are disrespecting them or being passive aggressive, but what if you aren't detached? for me, not being detached means constant arguments and letting him disrespect me.