Respect - a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities or achievements.
Liz, that is the thing about respect. Your A has an active role in your attainment of deference to him. Double barrel - great comment!
My A went to rehab last year. He has been sober a year. He struggled to get a new job and did not drink. He kept busy with all kinds of tasks around the house. I respect him for systematically trying to stay sober and fill those hours that he used to sit and drink. I thank him for many of the tasks that he does acknowledging that he out out effort. RAH started a new position on January. So now he is living with working sober too.
Sadly for me that is not enough. I want to rebuild our marriage and he does not have anything left to put into that kind of project. No intimacy and an obstinate door that his drinking did not impact me or DS.