So talked to the wife earlier today, very briefly, on the phone. We're apparently going to have a brief chat after the kids are in bed, to go over scheduling for the next week - a necessary talk. I'm going to table the business of Saturdays, if she needs to see her sponsor this Saturday, fine - again, not against doing this on any individual Saturday, but the idea of ongoing Saturdays as an expectation, well, that's another issue. But I'm going to save that for the next couples session (Monday).
After the talk, she agreed we could "hang out" for a little bit, which means watching a TV show and when we're doing OK - cuddling a little. Don't know if that would happen tonight. I'm thinking of just saying, "look, we don't need to resolve any big issues right now, but we (you, I, and the therapist) all agree we need more pleasant events together in our lives. Can we try and start now, and table everything else for later? I'm willing if you are." I think if she can accept that, it would be a good first step towards a reboot from our current crisis.
Anyways, I'll keep everyone posted.
-DrS