Today i had a busy day, but the nagging voice in the back of my mind still kept saying "Hey! Kelly. Go have a drink. It'll be nice." It's a very confusing disease. I reallly don't want to drink because i know what happen if i do but i also want to drink soo bad. I know i can't tho because if i do I'll have to start all over in my recovery, even tho i only have 40 days. Comparisons are bad i know but i keep comparing myself to these people in aa who have 11 months, 2years, even 25 years. I wish i were as strong as them already. Most of them are old men and women talking about kids and grandkids and I'm just sitting there like "yeah I'm 23....you probably think I'm 12." I have really nothing much in common with them. I don't know where I'm going with this other than i think I'm going insane and i don't want to live this way. Constantly being bugged by my brain to feed my addiction
