He is manipulating, and if you stay home he wins. I would just take the keys and leave. You're a grownup, you can leave the house without his permission. You don't need to announce your plans. If he is truly curious about recovery, he needs to find an AA meeting and attend...THAT is the meeting for him.
Moving forward, I personally wouldn't even tell him about your AlAnon meetings. It's really not his business what you do to focus on your own recovery. There's a gal in my group who "goes for a run" the same night every week. She runs right to our meeting, then home again!