In my own life and experience... I have found that the addict and affected family needs a lot of time. Time + time + time. When my husband admitted he was on heroin it was after 8 months of us already being separated. (for good reasons) He was locked up and put in jail and then told me the whole truth. His intention was to be honest and try to finally help himself in a time when he knew if he continued what he was doing he would die.. and not be allowed to see his children. So, he came home, was honest with himself and me and told me he needed to get away. So - he went to stay with family half way across the USA. It gave me and him time away but we were able to communicate better and talked everyday. So - for our family it was the best decision.
For my husband - wanting to get sober - stay sober- continue to be sober was a lot of work. Sometimes the best thing for both people involved is to get space and better communication.
Getting your own peaceful mindset will be worth it. It was for me. It's still difficult. However, no matter what he chooses to do - I know i'm making the right choices for me. It took me a lot of time to get where I am today.