Originally Posted by lillamy

Thank you for this post, CJ. I'm glad he's got a year under his belt. I'm sorry it's still such a struggle.

But that's why your post is important, I think. I've talked before about my former coworker who was a couple years sober when I met him. His wife stuck by him through rehab and recovery and such, but she says now "if I had known how hard it would be and how long it would take, I'm not sure I would have had the guts to do it." They've got a good marriage now, but she said it took a good 15 years before she was truly enjoying being with him.

That's just one story. But when I was married to an A, I sort of thought that if he just got sober, all would be well. I've learned here that it's not just the As getting sober and us getting out of the crazy loop. It also takes TIME. Maybe not 15 years for everyone -- but it takes time. And I think if we know that going in, we are less disappointed when an A comes back from rehab and is not drinking but still largely behaving like before they went in...