Cathy, Al-anon is about us, not them, and it doesn't tell us whether to stay or go, it helps us find our balance and live a healthy life...no matter what we choose. Just wanted to clarify that because many of us here found our peace and our sanity through meetings.
I hope you can find some peace for yourself in all this, and protect your son from being with him if he is going to drink and drive.
Hugs