Welcome! You are doing well by reaching out to people who will understand what you are going through. I think you answered your own question, really. You know there are things that are off with your relationship, you just don't seem to understand how off they are. In fact, you mentioned many primary relationships in your life that involve heavy addiction, and that tends to skew our sense of normal a lot!
You have found a great community here that you can use 24 / 7 to help gain some perspective on your situation. If you haven't found them already, start learning more about alcoholism, addiction, and codependency by reading the "sticky" threads at the top of the main forum page for Friends & Family. Actually, there are a few varieties now of F&F forums (including Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA)), so read around in all of them. There's a lot that will resonate with you, I think. Also, consider going to a few local AlAnon or ACOA meetings in person, just to see how you like it. They are free to try out, so what have you got to lose?
Keep coming back and let us know how you're doing!
Peace,
Fathom