Yurt,
I had small children and I didn't know enough about alcoholism to realize that it's progressive unless one is actively seeking recovery.
So I overlooked a lot of discomfort signs in myself. I rationalized them away, thinking I needed to have some good reason to leave.
Something big and obvious.
I finally got it, but by the time I did, I was in such a weakened condition from all the years of ignoring what my gut was telling me and living in denial.
If I had been honest with myself when it was nothing more than "I don't want this", I would have wasted about 15 fewer years of my own wild and precious life.
Your not wanting to stay is enough of a reason to go.