Originally Posted by
Mrrryah1 
I have a really good job that I'm seriously lucky to have. I can't go back to treatment. I have a lot to lose if I do. I mean a lot.
If you continue to drink as you have been, you have a lot more to lose than your job. It's already affecting your ability to work as evidenced by having to leave early today.
There are other options besides treatment, but first and foremost you've got to stop drinking. Did you need to have a supervised detox before treatment last time?