My XRAH is similar - he is in recovery just nearing the 6 month mark - we are friends but the "connection" we lacked in our marriage is still missing. We have the friendship connection only no emotional deep thing. He still holds hope we will reconcile but I don't think so since I want a real emotional connection and while I like having friends I want more in my mate. I'm dating and this person I'm seeing helped me see what a real connection is (and the lack thereof I'd normalized in my marriage - we agreed to dating is ok during our legal separation...yeah we're weird).
Anyhow my therapist said this to me and it really struck home: "well maybe the relationship as is is what he wants". Yeah, I think he's right,...it is, for my XRAH a friendship only marriage without a deep connection is OK for him...and I guess I'm deciding it's not OK for me. We are legally separated only and I'm almost ready to move it to the be D word...I feel it coming unless something changes and that change would have to come from him and I have zero control over it and if it comes or not.
When you're ready to make a decision either way you'll know (there is no right time or right path - just yours)...or that's what I think - I've made each move I've made on my timeline when it felt right.
EDIT: I always assume everyone knows my story...just some background we haven't lived together for 2 years and have been legally separated (with me dating - he knows) for almost a year. As weird as it is it's our path and it's working for my journey....