Originally Posted by
jacrazz 
Hi, my name is Jackie and I'm a shopaholic....I have always had an addiction to fashion. I look back now and it's def. tied to my past. I believe to comes from my lack of self esteem growing up as a child in an alcoholic home. looking back at my childhood, my parents were very fashion forward. A real "hot" couple! I love looking at my childhood pictures of the holidays and "fun" times (eye roll). There is one picture that love to just stare at. I remember it like it was yesterday! It's my dad's birthday and he was obviously s*it faced and trying to hug me and look on my face is priceless....I hated that he was drunk! But boy were we all dressed to kill! Ok, I'm rambling, back to the matter at hand. I wasn't valued by my dad, I was skinny and not cute. So I became a fashion plate. I grew up with a sense of "I suck but I look good". Clothes, shoes, makeup, you name it, I had to have it.....My xabf would say " you have a problem" I looked at him and said "Really? You love vodka and I love shoes, what's the difference." None, there is no difference. Its deff something I'm aware of and I'm working very hard....Now if only I would stop getting sale flyers and email notifications of a sale. My bank account would look better! Self awareness is key!
Jackie, I can relate! I have unsubscribed from the sale emails from Ann Taylor, Sports Authority, Banana Republic, and the Gap so far today. If I don't get the emails, then I won't know about the sale, right!
I was always skinny and my mom was ALWAYS smaller than me. I started putting on weight over the past few years and 'weight' to me means I gained 10 pounds. I was horrified a few months ago that I weighed 10 pounds more than I did when I got pregnant 16 years ago(I'll be 44 next month). Yep, that's the crazy in me!
Even today, I will see myself in the mirror and be disgusted by my bloated belly, love handles, etc. Luckily, I love food and would never develop an eating disorder. So, to help me feel better about myself I shop. If I can find the right shirt to just cover this belly that hangs over my waistband, then I'll be happy. I could go on but I think we're hitting the nail on the head.
One of the things that my AH said recently is, "Well, you're not getting any younger!" True, but I took that as an insult but also motivation for me to start taking care of myself. So, despite the shopping issue, I also have started running. 2 months ago I couldn't get in 1/4 of a mile and then I'd have to walk, and then try to jog huffing and puffing the whole way. Now, I am proud to say that I can run a mile and my time per mile is now at just under 12 minutes per mile. I jog and then I walk and then I sprint, etc after I have run about a full mile.
I also have started tracking all the food I eat and I have lost those 10 pounds. Keeping the weight off will take perseverance but I feel better about myself when I take care of ME! Unfortunately, I find myself saying, "Hey, you lost that weight(not the belly so much, LOL, that will always be there) so why not treat yourself to a new pair of shorts that actually fits?" Yep, justification at it's finest!