My guess is you take care of him in alot of ways. The addict in my life did just these same things. Eventually I was able to get enough therapy and support to see that I deserve more. If I have to protect myself and my kids on an emoational or physical level (driving in the car, etc) FROM my husband, what kind of partner does that make him? Not a very good one.
I was able to eventually detatch quite a bit unless my kids were concerned. Once I was able to detatch it led me to a place where I was able to say, "No More." People get comfortable in their lives and don't like change, sober or not. So he is trying to appease you so he can continue on his merry life with you and not have to make any changes.
The question is now, what are you going to do about it for you? Only you can decide that. As I have always said because this is stuck in my head, You cannot control their actions, only your reactions.
God Bless.