Just Another Ism
Addict husband made up excuses to leave the house on several occasions yesterday and I know he's leaving to get high. I don't ask, don't argue, don't call him out on it because he'll lie and bicker about my lack of trust in him because he said he wouldn't do anything like that again and he deleted the phone numbers from his phone, etc. ad nauseam. So, I relax on my day off and I don't peep a word about the "where you really were" and "I know your high" and all the rubbish that just fills the air when you're around someone who has proven time and time again there is no truth to their words. Then, today, he called with "I love you. I miss you. I'm sorry if you didn't have a very good day yesterday. I'm sorry that I wasn't feeling good." His claim is that he isn't well but it'd just that he doesn't want to get off the couch because s depressed he can't just get wasted knowing I've got one foot out the door right now. My thing I this: you have to lie to me about who you see and what you do. He lies daily. I know this for a fact
Everyday he walks out the door and says he's doing one thing but goes to get high. Why does he even want to be with me? Like, shouldn't he want to be around people he get high with and can act high with instead of chasing drugs and covering tracks? Why even call with the "I love you and miss you" if you have to hide who you are from me. Why not just be who you are in someone else's home where you can be free to be the addict POS you are? Do addicts enjoy playing off other people for like, what seem to be no good reason? Is there a reason an addict claims
they care when their action couldn't be further from caring?