I was sitting yesterday with my family at the Royal Easter Show (for non aussie folk its kind of like a big carnival with rides, exhibitions, animals etc
We were watching the woodchopping and marveling at the speed some of the experienced men would cut through wood. My son leant over to me and said "i reckon Dadda most of the speed of chopping wood and being affective is technique not brute strength " smart kid.
I got to thinking about the long road of my recovery, the things I have done that worked and then stopped working and the things that have stuck with me. It seems to be the techniques of recovery, the tools I have used that get me through life. . It never seems to be the absolutes I throw ahead of myself or the expectations I have on who I should be, the energy of fear and anger, of fighting or avoiding also are poor motivators for me, But the techniques of seeing that stuff clearly as it rises and falls away give me a chance to stay cool and calm. You can sit and conclude all sorts of reasons why we are no longer indulging in an addiction But at the end of the day for me at least it was the simple act of sitting that had more effectiveness than the willful expectation I was in a fight I must win to survive.