I should have read the post to its end before commenting. You're not being renewed. OK. Poop.
I'd like to give you a big fat hug and tell you that IT WILL BE OK. Because you're a fighter. And you've never given up. And you won't give up now either. Maybe CodeJob is right, and this is an opportunity for you to turn your career in another direction?
There's this quote I've seen on FB -- it says "When God closes one door, he always opens another. The hallway, though, is a b*tch." Cry, yell, beat up a pillow, and then start looking for that new door. It will appear. I know it will.