I also had a text "not meant for me" about 3 or 4 weeks after my XA set me free. He told someone that he had seen me before I went to work that morning and that he felt like she did with her recent X. He realized he was "no longer attracted to" me. I wish I'd known SR and had more Al Anon step work done back then. I felt very ugly right before, right after, and for a long time after our break up. It took me months to even begin to stop (Is that an oxymoron?) depending on
his opinion of me as truth. In that moment I
did respond to his text and gave him a lot of power. Whether he meant to send it or not doesn't matter. His actions showed that he wasn't attracted to me, nor respectful of me, nor loving, etc. I was still "going to the hardware store for bread" there.
I do have issues with my opinion of my appearance, but that's something I need to work on so that I don't have to be dependent on anyone for that again.
I'm glad to see that you, WTBH are not letting this break you down and if you would have acted in a self-damaging way about your text in the past, then I am very happy for you and the progress you've made.
And really, why would an A who's pretending to get sober on his own be attracted to someone who is pissed at him, just woke up, and is telling him that she doesn't want him bringing anyone he's dating around their kid unless he's been dating them for 6 months. (My scenario). Yay! More rules from someone who keeps cramping his A style.
