Liz and Codejob-
I too am afraid to walk away although we've been together less time, almost 9 years. I just don't want it all to be wasted time. If I leave now, and he does find sobriety again in the future, I will have lost out on life with my best friend. I'm just not sure I can continue with him in active drinking. It's just so depressing watching someone you love destroy himself. It can be so lonely being with an A.
If I do leave, I'm afraid of who I'll be. I feel like I've lost so much of myself in his drinking. I'm angry, anxious and sad all the time. I'm not sure how to be me all by myself again.
LaTeeDa- You really struck a nerve with me tonight.
"It's suffocating, but safe to orbit around another person. It's very scary and difficult to pull away from that orbit and learn to shine like a star all on your own."
This is exactly how I'm feeling, which makes me very angry with myself as I've always been strong and independent. Not sure what happened to me....