Sorry you're feeling like this. Last weekend I had fear about when my RAH, would relapse...it was just my brain slipping back into old, unhealthy ways of thinking. I had to remind myself that there is NOTHING I can do. He is going to relapse, not relapse, die in a car crash, whatever no matter how much worrying, intervening, coaxing I do to try to get *my* desired outcome for him.
Try to focus on the right now. If you're legit concerned that he's going to do something stupid like OD or get into a car crash, then make sure you have life insurance because that's about the extent of healthy, normal worrying that you can do. Any choices that he makes are HIS. If he's taking pills in a manner other than what was prescribed, you cannot do anything about it. Focus on you and your kids. It makes life much simpler and more enjoyable.
