Oh Bernadette777- I'm so sorry sending you a virtual hug!!
Also is he hanging out with my husband. I too lost my marriage to alcohol and drugs.
Yes the drugs and alcohol is progressive.
I never thought it would affect him since he has been this way years before I knew anything but it has gotten worse since I found out.
Working on you is the only thing you have control of. I have to tell myself when my thoughts start to go in his direction I am only robbing myself of peace in my head and to focus on me. I tell myself this several times a day.
I know it sucks to think of him having such a good time with out you . Mine too has this lifestyle but in reality he isn't. He use to drunk call me telling me how sad he is hanging with his friends and i'm not there. so I know he isn't as happy as he tries to be